I'am just a broken sword...would You give me another chance again? To be wield by You again...

~~Tuesday, April 17, 2007~~

8:48 AM

I'am just a simple newspaper boy...but something hit me today(I recalled some things that I read on Max Lucado: "Grip Of Grace"...As I give away the free papers...some ignored, some turn it down maybe it's too free to be true, some accepted it easily, some took a while to accept a free paper maybe they don't want be known as a cheapskate, some took it and found it wasn't their language.

What if..I change the contents of the paper and reads:

SALVATION FOR FREE
Believe in Jesus, repeat and be saved!

Nothing complicated, just believe in Jesus, and confess your sins. No need to run through the fire, No need to drink 100 cups of communion, No need to do in order to enter heaven, no need to bear a guilty heart.
Just few words:
Repent and Believe

Even if it is free, some would choose to ignore. "Sorry I'am too busy, it doesn't fit into my agenda." Perharps, it is diffcult to humble oneself to get a free paper. To humble yourself is to lower your status/position.
"Thank you, if I want to I'll buy myself"
"I'am a CEO of a major company here...why should I degrade myself? What would others think?"
"Thank you, I don't have to humble myself and confess, I'll find another way to heaven"

Maybe it's too free to be true
"It's about hard work, nothing is free"
"You don't understand, this is a dog eat dog world!"
Jesus answer to this is simple:
"Then don't live like a dog"
Me: "What?"
"I come to this world, died for you, so you don't have to live like a dog anymore"

As simple as that, nothing complicated...maybe you think hard work is the right way to go? It is like trying to make a stairway to the moon using stones and bricks...you are making some progress...but you got a loooooooooooooooooooooong way to go! Most likely one of the reasons, Jesus came, to SHOW you the way. Hard work or not. From heaven's angle we're all asking for the moon in earth.

Finally, the last batch of people who taking it for free.
Some took it, said "Thank You's" and were grateful.
Some took it, thinking they deserve it.
Some took it, thinking they earned it.
Some took it, focused so much on the paper, they forgot who gave me(It's really ok with me, really, don't remember me plz)

Some took the free gift of salvation. Were grateful, went on doing good, spreading the good news further.
Some took the free gift of salvation, Pointed their nose up high above everyone else, thinking they are above all.
Some took the free gift of salvation, Broadcasting to everyone of their achievements.
Some took the free gift of salvation, took it for granted and forgotten who saved them in the first place.

Again, just in case you readers taking it to the EXTREME. Please don't get me wrong. Since we are saved, it doesn't mean we do nothing and wait for heaven to come. We are saved for good works and we bring it further! I gave the newspaper freely! Why? Because I receive it free! As freely I receive, I freely give! And please do not think once you are saved you don't have to work hard anymore, again waiting for heaven to come. No no no! We are here to serve and be a blessing to others. See any poor? Give them money so that they can have meals for the day. Seen any sick? Offer assistance to them, help them recover! Seen the bullied and oppressed? Stand in and help them! To cut it short: Find a need, meet it, find a hurt, heal it!

Now the message of salvation is known to U! How do you respond to this?

No matter how complex life is...
I really just want a simple life...

~~Thursday, April 12, 2007~~

9:19 PM

It was really tough...I intially got a job that was 6.5/hr as an asset auditor(layman terms: stock take) but there was so much time to rest that certain weeks I only work 2 days per week! Having 1 month to go, I left the job and hunt for another...It was a terrible mistake! I went jobless for 2 weeks while job hunting. Then I found a job as a newpaper boi, 2 hrs per week 7-9am. I was desperate so I took it! 4 days later I got a call to go back as an asset auditor again. So now it becomes like this:

1) 6 am wake up. 6:30am out of home, 7am start work.
2) 9am finish, go home. Took a quick shower and off to work again!
3) 10:30am start work all the way till 6pm! 7/8pm reach home!

It was certainlly rough and tough! I couldn't quit my job as a newspaper boi because of the contact! Close to 12 hrs of work /day...while at the same time juggling with UPcoming Dota competition, Cell group work, Children church ministry plus close to an empty bank account! Also I have to smuggle in 15-20 mins of exercise!

I trip and fell plenty of times. For a few years I couldn't bring in friends even for big days like Easter. I got really disappointed and fell in self-pity. Then the past mistakes came back to me, I failed in my exams badly I am likely going to repeat my semester. I always take these things personally. The bitter pool of disappointment, the lack of strength to go on...I grind my teeth, made the choice to stand up and move on. Honestly, I do not know where I am going by standing up and moving on. I realize, God never stays, He's always ahead!

I never knew I could survive all that. Initally I thought I wasn't going to make it. By God's grace! W0w! I guess what God is saying to me is this, regardless of how big your disappointment is, or how sad you are, don't dwell in it! Learn to stand up and move on! People don't drown in the water! People drown when they STAY in the water!

Thank You God, how can I ever thank you enough? I will MOVE ON! I want to walk with You!

No matter how complex life is...
I really just want a simple life...